Bride(s) to Be

Being 621 days and 828 miles away from our Wedding Day, it's really hard to do any actual planning. We've done a couple of the "big" things, like securing a venue and our wedding party, but most of what we've done beyond that is hypothetical.  We like to take every chance we can get to do wedding stuff.

For several weeks, every radio station in Charlottesville was advertising a Bridal Show to be hosted by Virginia Bridal Magazine. Having gone to camper shows with my grandparents when I was a kid, my imagination ran wild with how cool this bridal show could be. And, even though we're not getting married in Virginia, we thought we could at least come away with a few more ideas of what we'd like to see on our big day. It's at least fun to get a few chuckles over some of the ridiculousness that is the bridal industry, right? So we paid our $7 and decided to spend our Sunday afternoon wandering through the show.

We walked into the Hilton and expected to find a Rockford Metro Center-sized display of awesome wedding things. Instead, we found a small conference room with maybe 20 vendors inside. The radio ads said there would be cake and catering samples and a mimosa bar.  There was one vendor "sampling" cake; a half a bite of chocolate or vanilla cake is not exactly what I would call "cake samples." And that catering sample? A few pieces of dried cheese and a few mysterious mini quiches. (Note to anyone providing food: PLEASE label what it is. Those quiches contained meat and poor vegetarian Emily got a big mouthful of ham before we realized what was happening).

We were also slapped in the face over and over again with our hetero-normative culture. We somewhat expected it, having to have registered as a bride and "groom" and having to cross "groom" out on nearly everything we use to organize our planning. Really. How hard is it to just write PARTNER instead? We even tried to help everyone out by both painfully obviously sporting our bride to be bands, but "we both are" still became the phrase of the day as every single vendor tried to figure out who the bride was.

The 'Bride to Be' bracelets we received at registration. 

Emily and I are both blessed to be constantly surrounded in environments where we don't have to worry about non-inclusive language. Both of our jobs include teaching inclusive statements and de-gendering literally everything.  We're very used to having everyone around us share these values and make it a point to check themselves and challenge hetero-normativity. When we're thrown into environments where people aren't on that same level, it becomes utterly exhausting to have to constantly out ourselves and awkwardly correct people.  The entire 3.5 hours of this bridal show were filled with just that.

**Special shout out to one of the photography vendors. His partner was starting to sell their services to us, and she started to ask the question, "Who's the bride?" He swooped in and stopped her before she could finish with a "You're both the bride!" and saved us all from that very uncomfortable realization that we are indeed one of the only gay couples in the room.

At the end of the day, there was to be a fashion show of bridal gowns and a drawing for some prizes. Despite the fact that the rest of the show was a bust, we decided to grab another free mimosa from the "mimosa bar" and stay. Maybe we'd at least get a door prize out of it!

Well. They made it through all of the door prizes and we didn't win anything. The next prize they were giving away was "$1000 worth of products and services from Mrs. Virginia USA and her sponsors." I told Emily that I hoped we didn't win it, as it would be super awkward to claim a prize that is irrelevant to a wedding not held in Virginia. I should have bitten my tongue.

Sure enough, Mrs. Virginia's daughter pulled my name out of the bucket. Among the most awkward moments of my life as Mrs. Virginia and the editor of Virginia Bride Magazine went in for a hug and several photos.  At least the crowd recognized me as the gay couple--we definitely had a fan club from the other brides. As I made my way to the stage, several people made comments like "oh my gosh they are so cute, they're together!" and "oh I'm so glad they won!"

I'm even featured on Virginia Bride Magazine's Facebook Page. #famous 

I will say, as awesome as it is to have won, the "prize package" is definitely a little sketchy and awkward for someone who is not getting married in VA. I've got my note and I'm in contact with Mrs. Virginia to "customize my selection of products and services." I will keep you posted for what I actually end up with!

The letter explaining how I'm supposed to claim my prize. 

We knew going into the show that we probably wouldn't get much out of it, except maybe a few ideas of what we'd like to try and DIY based on what others are offering. Instead, we got a whole lot of ideas about what definitely do NOT want to see happen at our wedding, the re-affirmation that we are definitely NOT having a traditional wedding, and we got to spend an afternoon with each other bonding through people watching and people watching us.  And (maybe?) $1000 worth of goods and services from Mrs. Virginia USA. Party!